The new year

The only time wasted is the time spent thinking you're alone. 2007 is nearing and I'm going to make a promise to myself to change for the better. Live it to its fullest and appreciate the time i have with those around me before its too late. You can't turn back time or undo what you've done but you can live in the moment and make your life happier and more fulfilling. Only you can determine what you want your life to be.

Loneliness

The feeling you get when no one is around to listen. You're surrounded by tonnes of people yet that feeling creeps inside of you. You have what most people don't, yet you fret about what you don't have. You should be grateful yet you never are. Thats human nature. Never satisfied. So should we feel guilty about it or not? Saying no would just mean you're not being honest with yourself. How are we supposed to act? Are you supposed to do the right thing and not complain about it only to find it's not you to surpress your feelings? Either way it ends up the same. Putting on a fake smile everyday or acting sad and depressed both don't work. Somehow you end up stuck anyway.

Loss

Different people deal with loss in their lives differently. It amazes me how humans can be so strong when put in such situations. Honestly, without divine intervention, i don't think it would be possible. Yes, i know some may disagree but that's just my opinion. Obviously not everyone is the same.. we all have different tolerance levels. Some crack easily and give in but some persevere. I guess its because some hold on to that hope. When there is hope there is faith. When there is faith there can be miracles. It's worth fighting to survive when obstacles come in the way if you believe that something better is yet to come. Sometimes staying positive and holding on to that belief is the most important thing in any situation.

No title?

Just when you think that things couldn't get any worse it does. And the worse part is that there's no one there to catch you when you fall. So what do you do? How do you stay strong?

A very random post

People are never what they seem to be. You may think that someone is happy from how they act everyday but what do you know? For all you know, they might be going through a really difficult time. Someone may seem superficial but deep down they can be the nicest people you'll ever know. I suppose everyone has another side to them that they're afraid to show for fear they will be seen differently. I guess sometimes we're too quick to judge someone. And also too ignorant to care about those around us. We forget that our friends have feelings and also a sensitive side to them no matter how tough they may seem. Everybody's too caught up in their own affairs that they tend to forget about everything else. It's always me, me and me. Sigh. I feel bad for those who don't have anyone to talk to when they're down or upset. I feel the need to be more kind with other people and to gossip less. But somehow i can't help it. I try and try and try but it never seems to come through. Anyway, people just arent very caring anymore nowadays and its sad to see something like that happen. What are we turning into?

Fake

The world is made out of fakers. There is not one single person out there who isn’t fake. No matter how nice or bad they seem to be, there is always a slight portrayal of fakeness. It’s just a matter of how nice or bad. People do things that they themselves know would never do out of fear that they might get rejected. They fake their personalities and characters to feel accepted and in order to feel superior to others. Those who notice this trait and then decide to press on it is just considered prideful. Why is it that not one human being in this world can just be themselves and look past other peoples’ insecurities? We all have our own insecurities yet we seem to feel comfortable about judging others about it. That in my opinion is another act of insecurity. What ever happened to speaking your mind? To being well YOU? Individuality is such a rare thing nowadays. You’d be very lucky to bump into someone who has even a hint of that quality.

*I'm in a foul mood. Example of fakeness: crying to draw sympathy etc. So yes I admit, I am prideful.

Change

It just seems like everyone's leaving these days.. first it was Sang, then Vannie, recently Dharma and after that Darrel. pretty soon everyone's going to be out of the country. ugh, its just not nice when everything starts to change. yeah, yeah.. deal with it everyone will say. and they also say its not easy but you have to blablabla. there's just so much pressure and i know its neverending.. until you die of course.. hehe. time goes by so quickly. i remember when Sang told me that she was going to Aussie to study last year. i was like "what the $#&^%$?!" it was just so sad. i thought we were going to go through form 4 and form 5 together and sit for the SPM examination together and everything. she comes back during the holidays at least twice a year.. and its been a week since she went back to Aussie. i just miss having her around.. we go out so often when she comes back and it feels so nice to have her there. i can talk to her about anything and she understands me so well. i dont know how she does it but she's just always there and somehow just gets me. she's just wonderful and makes everyone smile when they're around her and i'm sure all her other friends would agree. so Sang this will sort of be my plane letter to you. i wanna let you know that you are just one of the best friends that i could ever have and i can only hope that we'll stay friends. i know its not a 5 page thing but good enough i hope? hehe. (if i were to write a real letter it would take me a few hours ;) ) so i guess i'm just going to deal with all the new things that are happening and make the best possible decisions. also, i desperately need to learn to love God and love the other people around me. because that is what life is all about. (quoted from Purpose Driven Life)

The new year!

HAPPY 2006 EVERYONE! Last night was one of the best nights ive ever had! =D this was the first time i actually had fun during new years eve. i spent it with my besties and my seniors. we had dinner and did the countdown at the curve. we even had our little snow war thingie with the spry cans like what helena said :) the music came on after that and we were all dancing and having fun. it was awesome. we left after a while and went to get supper. i had a great night and im so grateful for everyone's company. i suddenly feel stupid for putting up my past entries. i guess those were just my rough times and we all have to go through them. right now, im just going to treasure and make the best of all the relationships that i have formed. at the same time, be more open to new ones. 2006 is going to be very different and i pray that i'll be able to learn from my past mistakes. just to be a happier and more positive person from now on :)

* God is Great.