Good Friday

Today's Good Friday, i thought mass felt abit different today. Somehow the solemness in the atmosphere felt good to me.. and i have no clue why. The priest spoke of Jesus' last words in his sermon today. I could relate to alot of the things that he was saying.. He also talked about the cross being a symbol of Christianity.. and the passion that Christ found. It was all relative to the sermon yesterday in which he spoke of our purpose in life.. something that we thirst and strive for.. something that drives us.. without it we're practically lost.. not many have found it.. and some never did. I myself havent found it yet.. its a mystery to most.. and i can only hope that it will be revealed to me soon. We shouldnt just look at the cross as a symbol of our faith, but instead, let it represent our life. 'Jesus of Nazarene, King of the Jews' "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do." "Today you will be with me in paradise." "My God, my God why have you forsaken me?" "I am thirsty" "It is accomplished" "Into your arms i commend my spirit" - Jesus' last words.

* This entry is abit messy. Its bits and pieces of the sermons and my thoughts. comments please :)

to cheer things up!

izzit me or do u guys realise there is a sense of solemness in this blog??? like y is everyone so deep n profound???? ok.. so like i'm here to cheer things up a little n i wanna say that this blog is so cool n stuff!!! i hope u don't delete this as u need some spice in ur life!! ahh.. now i'm just crapping.. just wanted to see if i'm allowed to post stuff. hahahah!!!
ok.. so like i'm in love too!!! JESUS rawks my world!!!!

Issues

You know i've always wondered what we should when we've realised we like someone.. pretend you dont care when you really do and do nothing? tell him/her? wait on him/her? sigh.. kinda what i'm going through right now.. its one of the reasons i tend to avoid liking someone.. you'll probably be thinking, how weird is she? well anyway its been pretty long already and nothing's happened.. so you see, i chose to wait. stupid idea if you ask me. yet thats what chose to do.. sigh.. so lately, i've been doing some thinking and i thought.. hey, maybe i should just forget about him and move on with my life. he's not worth the wait anyway. or is he? if i forget about it, then i'll just go on living my life not knowing what he thought. frankly speaking.. i dont even know what it is about this guy that i like so much and i'm starting feel that my feelings are getting more and more serious. i think i've really fallen for him this time.. and that has never happened before. honestly, its starting to scare me a little. on the other hand, i feel our conversations are well just so.. general.. if you know what i mean. its not the type of conversations that i would enjoy having with the guy i like. i prefer real conversations.. like about things that actually matter.. not mindless conversations that just go on for ages. i seem to always ask myself, like whats the point? okay.. friendship bonding maybe.. haha.. but then again thats between friends. its like there's absolutely nothing special about relationship. just two ordinary friends who seem to be merely an acquaintance to each other. sigh.. anyone wanna tell me what to do next?
comments please ;)

Strength

The feeling that we get when we feel all alone.. with no one to turn to.. loneliness is what it is. ur surrounded by friends and family, even people whom you trust very much and feel comfortable with. yet that feeling is still there. the feeling that no one understands what ur going through. the feeling that ur life is very much different from others.. much harder. ur supposed to live ur life the best way you can but it seems to me it becomes a burden day by day. on the surface, people see you as normal. but on the inside, they have no clue about what ur going through. how you really live ur life. the pain that you go through each day. going to bed every single night just thinking about what to do about it. its just a cover up. a big lie. everyone has dark secrets.. it may look like they lead perfect lives.. but we should consider our judgements next time. you see, the more you get that feeling, the more i think you should be strong. its just satan messing with you. and ive come to realise that God will always be there no matter what. He will provide you with all that you need. all you need to do is have faith.
*Philippians 4:13

p.s. Thanks annonymous. its been right in front of my eyes all along but i never noticed it till now. and you helped me ;)

Forgive? Forget?

Forgive and forget most may say.. but can we really bring ourselves to do that? maybe the forgiving part is possible.. but what about forgetting? its kinda like, that thing that happens.. will never go away.. it will always be a part of ur life.. ur history.. it can never be erased.. i'm wondering why people even say these three words, 'i forgive you' when they know they can never forget about it. its just a lie. denial if i dare say. they're just words.. but the feeling will always linger.. and well.. do they just stay there? buried forever? or do they come back out when you least expect it to? see the thing is.. its really all up to ourselves whether we want it stay deep down in that pit or let it out. its a choice.

Questions

Difficulties.. what are they really? is it merely a word? a phrase? described as something that becomes an obstacle? something that pulls you down? why do they exist? i think they're there for a reason.. to test our strength and our faith.. but the real question is how do you overcome it.. how strong are we really?

wanderers..
what they know is sometimes..
well more than we think..
lost but aware..
aware but lost..
only time will tell..

What the hell am i writing?! sigh.. feeling a little down.. comments please..

Another day

Yet another day has passed..
another day wasted..
all hope is lost..
dreams shattered..
what are we still doing here?
unaware..
of what is yet to come..
wake up!
wake up!
reality is at our doorstep..
open our eyes..
look deep within..
and listen..

I'm really not sure what this is supposed to be.. poetry or something maybe? lol. just some of my thoughts. comments please :)

Life.. What is it really about?

My first entry.. technically my second but whatever. well this hasn't been the best week i've had.. i've basically been feeling miserable the past few days.. and i've also been rambling on about it to some of my friends. if any of you are reading this, sorry for bothering you guys.. but thanks for being patient with me as well ;) sigh.. i think life is great, full of excitement and surprises. but i've just realised that the things that happen around you are not necessarily the things you want to happen and i have to accept that. its like part and parcel of life. took me kinda long to realise that huh? and i also realised that you shldn't ask questions.. why is this happening to me? why did God even allow this to happen? what good could possibly come out of this? why do i feel so lost? yet i'm doing it. sigh.. i wonder when this will end.. i'm so sick and tired of the same thing happening again and again. its when you think that everything's fine and ur life is finally starting to go right, something bad that's out of your control happens.. and thing is, i'm starting to think its something i've done that God doesnt like and i'm getting punished for it. sigh.. one of the mysteries in life that i'll never find out. oh and i've just recalled that i have a test next week.. havent done any real studying so far cos i haven't been in the best mood.. oh what a sucky blog.. its me rambling on again. argh. i would be grateful if one person even reads this :P hopefully the next time i write i'll be in a more cheerful mood. signing off now.. comments please.. if anyone is even reading this dumb blog..

Dum di dum

Blogging... i'm new to this so i don't have much to say... for now. Lol. But anyway, i'll try and blog as often as i can and excuse the broken english please :P