Broken Strings

It's been a while since a song really sort of, moved me.
The meanings scattered and blurred.
Translates perfectly into how I'm feeling.
And I wish again on my lost half of a rainbow to find that happy place.

---

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again but you broke me
Now I can't feel anything

When I love you it's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else

Oh
It tears me up
I try to hold on but it hurts too much
I try to forgive but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh
The truth hurts and a lie's worse
How can I give anymore when I love you a little less than before

Oh
What are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire when there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late

Oh
It tears me up
I try to hold on but it hurts too much
I try to forgive but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh
The truth hurts and a lie's worse
How can I give anymore when I love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire when there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when we both know it's too late

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I cant tell you something that ain't real
Well truth hurts and a lie's worse
How can I give anymore when I love you a little less than before

Oh
Yeah Yeah
I love you a little less than before
Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again

In a knot

Something about reading someone else's blog that's so interesting.
Partly because you know the ones who are writing it.
Some of them I find, very fascinating.
The people I mean, and their thoughts.

How is it that some people just appear to be more intriguing than others.
In a way that you just want to find out more and more about them.
Why is that? Why are you drawn to them?

I constantly find myself asking "Why?"
I wish I could stop.
Then again, I wish on a lot of things.

Like how I wish I could fly.
Well not alone. With someone. Someone I cared about.
Just fly away into another life.
Sounds so liberating, and free.
Mmm. Peaceful.

It's odd. The feeling of wishing that you were someone else is so common isn't it.
But then it doesn't seem viable.
It Never happens. Because in the end you'll still be You.

I don't think I was made to write. Never was.
I wish I was. But I'm just not.
Should I stop trying to be something that I'm not then.
Probably.

***

I think I'd die without banana leaf rice, chicken rice, nasi lemak, dim sum, beef/pork ball noodles, char kuey teow and kangkung belacan (just to name a few). Haha. All those carbs. I reckon I'm a carb addict. Which is a very bad thing. I wish I was a health food freak sometimes.

At this very moment.

Currently listening to: Pjanoo by Eric Prydz

I don't like this feeling very much.

It feels foreign but strangely familiar.

Listening to this makes me forget about my worries and doubts.

But it won't last very long. 

4 minutes to be percise.

Heck, I don't even know what I'm stressing about.

Nothing feels right.

I feel like I'm sinking back down.

And I need someone, something to hold on to.

Yet, nothing in sight.

You know how they say it's better to not know what's coming?

Well now feels like the right time to, know.

I'd like to know when this nagging feeling that everything is wrong will end.

Please and thank you.

Before I snap and do something stupid.

(No, I am not suicidal so don't worry.)

I'm Back

And that was half a year ago.

Hard to believe sometimes.

Well well, I've attempted to blog again.

Let's recap (half) the year shall we?

- I graduated from college.

- Had some great holidays.

- Met a lot of new people.

- Lost one or two relationships (give or take).

- Gained weight (definitely, you can tell by the pictures).

- Started an online blog shop.

- Landed a new job, quite awesome that one.

I really didn't think that was such a bad year..

At least when you have it on paper, you actually see that you did things this year.

That one year didn't just fly by and you've accomplished nothing.

So I'm supposed to feel contented.. right..?

I think since I have some time off before uni, I should do some like I dunno, soul searching.

That's what they call it don't they.

Yeah. I think it'll be good for me.

Now if someone can just tell me where to start.