The Pink Pixie

Broken Strings

2009-03-10T01:29:00.005+08:00

It's been a while since a song really sort of, moved me.
The meanings scattered and blurred.
Translates perfectly into how I'm feeling.
And I wish again on my lost half of a rainbow to find that happy place.

---

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again but you broke me
Now I can't feel anything

When I love you it's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else

Oh
It tears me up
I try to hold on but it hurts too much
I try to forgive but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh
The truth hurts and a lie's worse
How can I give anymore when I love you a little less than before

Oh
What are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire when there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late

Oh
It tears me up
I try to hold on but it hurts too much
I try to forgive but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh
The truth hurts and a lie's worse
How can I give anymore when I love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire when there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when we both know it's too late

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I cant tell you something that ain't real
Well truth hurts and a lie's worse
How can I give anymore when I love you a little less than before

Oh
Yeah Yeah
I love you a little less than before
Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again

In a knot

2009-03-09T03:31:00.004+08:00

Something about reading someone else's blog that's so interesting.
Partly because you know the ones who are writing it.
Some of them I find, very fascinating.
The people I mean, and their thoughts.

How is it that some people just appear to be more intriguing than others.
In a way that you just want to find out more and more about them.
Why is that? Why are you drawn to them?

I constantly find myself asking "Why?"
I wish I could stop.
Then again, I wish on a lot of things.

Like how I wish I could fly.
Well not alone. With someone. Someone I cared about.
Just fly away into another life.
Sounds so liberating, and free.
Mmm. Peaceful.

It's odd. The feeling of wishing that you were someone else is so common isn't it.
But then it doesn't seem viable.
It Never happens. Because in the end you'll still be You.

I don't think I was made to write. Never was.
I wish I was. But I'm just not.
Should I stop trying to be something that I'm not then.
Probably.

***

I think I'd die without banana leaf rice, chicken rice, nasi lemak, dim sum, beef/pork ball noodles, char kuey teow and kangkung belacan (just to name a few). Haha. All those carbs. I reckon I'm a carb addict. Which is a very bad thing. I wish I was a health food freak sometimes.

At this very moment.

2009-02-01T03:33:00.004+08:00

Currently listening to: Pjanoo by Eric Prydz

I don't like this feeling very much.

It feels foreign but strangely familiar.

Listening to this makes me forget about my worries and doubts.

But it won't last very long.

4 minutes to be percise.

Heck, I don't even know what I'm stressing about.

Nothing feels right.

I feel like I'm sinking back down.

And I need someone, something to hold on to.

Yet, nothing in sight.

You know how they say it's better to not know what's coming?

Well now feels like the right time to, know.

I'd like to know when this nagging feeling that everything is wrong will end.

Please and thank you.

Before I snap and do something stupid.

(No, I am not suicidal so don't worry.)

I'm Back

2009-01-04T18:51:00.004+08:00

And that was half a year ago.

Hard to believe sometimes.

Well well, I've attempted to blog again.

Let's recap (half) the year shall we?

- I graduated from college.

- Had some great holidays.

- Met a lot of new people.

- Lost one or two relationships (give or take).

- Gained weight (definitely, you can tell by the pictures).

- Started an online blog shop.

- Landed a new job, quite awesome that one.

I really didn't think that was such a bad year..

At least when you have it on paper, you actually see that you did things this year.

That one year didn't just fly by and you've accomplished nothing.

So I'm supposed to feel contented.. right..?

I think since I have some time off before uni, I should do some like I dunno, soul searching.

That's what they call it don't they.

Yeah. I think it'll be good for me.

Now if someone can just tell me where to start.

Space, Loft @ Heritage

2008-06-16T17:27:00.009+08:00

13/06/08, Friday

Space was pretty awesome. So was Loft.
Wish you were here Rachel and Shamay! =)
Shitloads of pictures. Hehe.

Sher Lyn's Birthday @ Italiannies, The Curve

2008-06-03T00:01:00.007+08:00

Currently listening to: Soulmate by Natasha Beddingfield

30/05/08, Friday

In no particular order...

The Dreamer I Used To Be

2008-06-02T23:39:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to: If I Had Eyes by Jack Johnson

Have you ever had a dream that felt so real you woke up in joy or in sadness?

Smiling or frowning?

Laughing or crying?

Feeling as though you were on top of the world and that you can do possibly do anything or horribly stuck at the bottom of the lowest pit you could ever find yourself in?

Good for you if your answer was either/or, both.

Because its these little, strange, peculiar and mysterious things that makes life all the more interesting and worth living.

Those who repeatedly tell themselves, "Life sucks."
You obviously don't know what you're missing out on.
And thats a real pity.

p.s. Sorry I lost track of the little things.

Wendy's & Laundry

2008-05-31T00:41:00.007+08:00

20/05/08, Tuesday

Wendy's with Ally and Jovi =)

With pictures this time. Lol.

The 3/4 Pounder

Jovi's first bite.

---

23/05/08, Friday

Laundry with old friends.

From the Interact days. Hehe.

---

Really outdated I know. And not many words too 'cos I'm a lazy person.

Loves/xx

Birthday Shoutout

2008-05-30T11:17:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday to Sang & Sher Lyn !!! =)

Love you both. Hope you had a great one.

---

Pics from Sher Lyn's birthday should be up soon. I think.

Ascension

2008-05-27T00:05:00.006+08:00

Currently watching: Gossip Girl

"Its for when you miss me."

And if I go,
While you're still here...
Know that I live on,
Vibrating to a different measure - behind a thin veil you cannot see through.

You will not see me,
So you must have faith.

I wait for the time when we can soar together again,
Both aware of each other.

Until then,
Live your life to the fullest.

And when you need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart...
I will be there.
: )

-Colleen Hitchcock.

imissyou/xx

Mixed Up

2008-05-25T02:14:00.004+08:00

I've got pictures to post up actually. But that can wait I suppose.

Ally just got her blog up and running again. Visit it if you haven't. Her link's at my sidebar.
Her first few posts were rather personal I would say.

I almost forgot how I used to blog. All words and no pictures.
Seemed like ages ago. It does feel slightly different. But not much though.
Reading her posts just reminded me of how it used to be.

And well, in the end, we all grow up. Whether we like it or not.
We grow into different people.
In a broader sense we are still who we are, just evolved.

I hate to think of a future where I'm no longer in contact with some of my closest friends now.
It just feels impossible somehow.
Like Ally says, appreciate the things you have or the people around you while you still can.

---

I wonder if its considered a good thing when you're used to being alone.
Everything has its pros and cons of course.
But thats why there's a scale to determine the answer.

---

Apparently there's a saying that the number 9 is an unlucky number.
If you have it in your age (I'm 19 this year), it'll be one of the hardest years to get through.
So I won't lie and say that its been easy so far.
Compared to last year. Last year was good for the most part.
I've never been one to be superstitious but its probably just another myth.

---

I was driving in the rain on my own today.
A familiar feeling.
A feeling I haven't felt in a while.
It was good and bad.
I felt calm and was able to think.
At the same time, I never felt more lonely than I have in a long time.

Oh I remember what I used to tell myself.
"The only time wasted is the time spent thinking you're alone."
But hey, you can't control what you feel can you?

---

Rachel, Ally, Sang, Joe,

iloveyouall.

Bamboo

2008-05-22T00:08:00.005+08:00

16/05/08, Friday

Was at Bamboo last Friday night.
Pretty eventful to be honest.
Haha. What with Ally getting pissed drunk. = P
Hope she doesn't kill me for posting it up. *gulps*

Also, I just have to say that this world is too small.
I met Aubrey there (who btw is whom I stole the pics below from. Hehe.) who was Darrel's friend that I met a few years back. And back then her hair was super long. Lol.

And, Audrey I recognized as well 'cos we did our confirmation together two years back.
She was from Jesus Caritas.

Anywho, like I said. The world is getting smaller.
Not many pictures but at least I updated right? Tee-hee.

Loves.

Eff.

2008-05-18T02:00:00.002+08:00

I am so effing drained.

I'm too lazy to start doing assignments.

There's work tomorrow. Again.

Pay day hasn't come.

I don't mean to rant. Really.

Holidays over. (meaning the weekend outings)

Time to check back into reality.

---

Will post up some pictures from Friday if I ever get my hands on them.

Sorry there hasn't been any updates folks. Hehee.

p.s. Rachel, you are not fat ok! But if you really think you are, you should cut down on the fast food Lol.

Quickie

2008-05-08T00:22:00.003+08:00

I haven't updated this thing in over a week. Eek.

Anyhow, here are some random updates.

- I have been addicted to eating for some reason. Really wish it'll stop.
- Resulting in a random trip to buy Big Apple Donuts. Yumm.
- Now I'm craving Japanese. I.want.Sushi.Groove.
- Assignments are due.
- Project details are not finalized, which sucks.
- I'm on the verge of falling sick.
- I'm getting tired of working. As in exhausted. Even though its only the weekends.
- My money is disappearing into thin air.
- What's worst is that I haven't got my paycheck.
- I get that feeling of not having a purpose/being caught up again.
- Maybe life is just like that.
- Oh yeah, people around me keep saying that life sucks. Not encouraging at all people.

*And last but not least, Shamay! I saw ur sister and brother in law yesterday! Lol.
Twas so funny. I was staring at her thinking, she looks a lot like Shamay cos I haven't seen you in ages. Haha. (Okay that was only funny to me.)
Anyway, see you on the 28th of June! Can't wait! ;)

**Well sorry there aren't any pictures. I know blogs are boring without them. (Piff.)

Backtrack.

2008-04-28T21:49:00.006+08:00

Currently listening to: Rise by Samantha James

23/04/08, Wednesday

Slightly outdated I know.

Just been busy and haven't had the time.

Busy doing what? Haha.

I don't even know myself sometimes.

Constantly preoccupied (or lazy) =P

At least I finally came around to doing it huh.

Ally and I went to TopShop at Mid Valley 'cos they were having some sort of pre-mid season sale for members.

Didn't find anything out of the ordinary honestly.

I think I'm going through a non-shopping phase lol.

Where I just see don't see anything nice to buy.

Oh but trust me.

There will be a day where I'll just feel like buying the whole store haha.

Anyway, we left Mid Valley in record-breaking time.

One and a half hours. Haha.

Headed to Bangsar after that with the intention of having banana leaf rice.

Yumm. Really just try the one at Bangsar if you haven't.

Its opposite Bangsar Village II yeah, ;)

Needless to say, we got sidetracked by all the other great eating places there. Lol.

So we ended up in this cosy/whimsical/charming little cafe in BV II.

Its called Marmalade.

(As in orange marmalade, the one Paddington Bear eats. You've watched Paddington Bear before right?? In case you haven't here's a picture. Hehe. A talking bear in a raincoat who stole away from Peru. Adorable, no? =) )

Here's a picture on the wall.
Cute huh? Perfect place to bring ur kids. (If you have them of course hehe.)
The food was a tad bland to be honest.
But its all good 'cos place just makes you feel like a happy kid. =D I'm serious!

Turkey Ham & Mushroom Quiche

Spaghetti Carbonara & Strawberry Yogurt Drink

Really Cool Lighting
(See its like a transparent ball with entwined wire in it lol.)

Oh yeah, this place sells the largest cupcake and carrot cake you can find. No kidding! You can check them out on Facebook too I think.

Ah now I'm tired. Going to bed now.

Loves.

Hope in a Jar by Philosophy

2008-04-25T03:14:00.003+08:00

I could use one of these.

And I'm not just talking about the moisturizer.

Thinkthinkthink. And Now My Head Hurts.

2008-04-24T23:36:00.001+08:00

Current mood: Stressed, Tired, Drained, Not Happy.

I've been thinking way way way too much these past few days.
It hasn't been doing me any favours except give me headaches.

Firstly, I've recently started on my Fashion Marketing Project I.
I won't bother explaining what its about and telling you all the long details. (Ask me if you want.) But my point here is that its hard.

They say conceptualizing is often the hardest part of a project.
I couldn't agree more. Sigh.
A lot of hard work to be anticipated to make everything work.

God, I hate having to juggle between personal issues and school/work issues.

All I can do is hope and pray that everything will turn out well in the end.

Also, I wanna say something to those who have gone overseas to study.
You know who you are.
Some went a few years back, Some last year and Some this year.

I've been thinking and just want to apologize if I haven't made enough of an effort to keep in touch.
I really didn't mean for it to turn out that way.
I always say that we'll talk loads and stuff but somehow I don't always follow through and I'm sorry for that.
In spite of all that, you guys really do matter a lot to me.
Anyway, I hope all of you are doing well and coping.
I miss you all so much. Really. =)

But its the same for some of the people here whom I don't see often.
We have MSN and Facebook which makes everything even easier, but I still act the same way.

Its odd now that I think about it.
Because I used to make an effort.
I really did.
But now, I think I stopped.
And I have no idea why.

I hope its not because I stopped caring.
If it is, then I guess its true.
People do evolve.
They don't change. They just evolve.
Ah the irony of life.

Hope this makes you stop to think about... Well, anything you want.
People forget to think sometimes. Hehe.

"People is what matters." - Meredith Grey

Two in Two Days

2008-04-21T23:23:00.004+08:00

I decided to talk about movies this time!

So the first one I watched was on HBO last night.
The Pursuit of Happyness.

I know I'm a little behind since this movie came out quite some time ago (okay, a long time ago).
But better late than never huh.
And it was whoa.
Kept me glued to the tv the whole time. Lol.

The title really meant what it was supposed to mean.
The struggle Chris Gardner (Will Smith) had to endure in his life just makes you feel as grateful as you can ever be with what you have.
He continued to persevere even when things got really tough, stayed optimistic and did absolutely everything in his power to protect and provide a living for his son, Christopher (Jaden Smith).

I mean, imagine this.
From living in a 2 bedroom apartment to a motel room to being kicked out into the streets and forced to spend the night in a subway restroom to lining up everyday at 5pm in the evening in order to get a room at the homeless shelter.
Blow after blow came upon him. Spending the night in jail, eviction, taxes, etc. etc.
In spite of all that, he still had to continue selling his scanners to survive and study in order to get a job in an investment firm to make a living.
Every dollar mattered.

I have to say that thank goodness all ended well.
This is proof that good things do happen to good people =)
So if you have the time, really you have to watch it.
Its a very inspiring movie that definitely puts things into perspective.

***

Next movie I watched was tonight with Ally.

She bought the DVD for The Other Boleyn Girl.

I've been dying to watch this one ever since I saw the book in MPH.

Its a scandalous movie set in the 1500s with three hot and talented actors in it.

Honestly, how can anyone not want to. Lol.

Natalie Portman plays Anne Boleyn, Scarlett Johansson plays her younger sister, Mary Boleyn and Eric Bana plays the King of England at the time, King Henry VIII.

(I did wonder why Keira Knightley wasn't chosen to act in this film.. She does have that old English air about her..)

All in all, very very exciting plot.

Since its not out yet (in Malaysia), I won't elaborate on it.

If you like films based (not fully based but referenced) on historical events in the past, this is the movie for you.

Its really entertaining and there's a lot you can discuss and analyze about the characters played.

Definitely worth watching in my opinion.

Anyway, I borrowed another DVD from Ally.

P.S. I Love You

I can't wait to watch it! =D

Hehe. Hope you all have been watching good movies too.

/xx

Yay me.

2008-04-20T12:20:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to: I'm Yours by Jason Mraz

(They play that song on the radio now. Tsk. And I didn't get the video.. Hmm..)

So guess what?

I've only got One day of a college a week now!!
Haha. I kid you not.
Three subjects/classes in a day. Not bad eh? ;)
And I will make sure this doesn't turn me into a slacker. (I hope.. >.<) Because now I'll have more time to work on events and what not. Yeah my life has turned into the following: - Eat - College - Sleep - Eat - Work - Sleep - Eat I swear I've been eating wayyy too much. I just feel like eating all the time. This is gonna sound weird but I think its because... I'm stressed my period isn't here yet! LOL. I should be thankful its not here yet shouldn't I? But it's honestly so annoying since its always early and never late. And now I shall stop ranting about my really personal issues =P

On another note.
I cut my hair!
Its two-and-a-half inches shorter now. (Thanks to all the split ends)
But yeah, not much of a difference since Ally didn't even notice it until I pointed it out to her.
Which was like two days later mind you.

Oh yeah, this is my current obsession.

Haha. I've been telling/asking/pestering/annoying virtually everyone about it.
I'm so sorry but I can't help it!
I wanna go there so badly.
See in case you didn't know, the new Wendy's just opened at Sunway Pyramid 2.
I've been waiting forever for it to open.
So now I'm just really really excited.
I mean, how can you not when they have Square burgers! Hahaha!

Tell me that isn't the yummiest thing you've seen in uh... a long time. Lol.
Okay.. I'll stop tempting you people. Hehe.

I have to go study now anyway. (See! I'm not slacking Ally/Lindy/Ysl)
=P

*hug hug, kiss kiss.

Teddy Babyyy

2008-04-19T22:43:00.003+08:00

Currently listening to: Hands on Me by Vanessa Carlton

This is Teddy (on the right). Rachel (on the left) and Ally's toy poodle.

How cute is he???!!!???!!!

Yeah I know. Super random. Too cute a picture to pass up hehe.

Besides, its free publicity for him. Lol. (And her too =P)

But you have to admit. You love him already, don't you??

Haha.

= )

Rain, Rain Go Away

2008-04-16T22:02:00.005+08:00

Currently listening to: Four Minutes by Madonna ft. Justin Timberlake

Was raining like mad today.
So I got caught in the rain thanks to my college's sucky car park.

Tsk.

Oh and I broke my slippers =(

Then again, this means, new shoes! =D

So off I went after dinner to Vincci @ Ikano to look for a new pair.

(Dinner was really good nasi kandar from Devi's by the way. Yumm.)

Unfortunately, they didn't have my size.

I'll have to wait till tomorrow to go to OU I suppose.

Yeah, I'm that obssesive about things eventhough I already have a million other good shoes. Lol.

As I was walking around..

Lookie what I found..

REESE'S!!!

My all time favourite.

Though I do prefer the Mini Peanut Butter Cups.

(Excuse the bad lighting hehe.)

But hey, these made me forget about not getting my shoes in no time. Lol.

Ahh.. I'm getting a headache =(

Got Moral class early tomorrow morning. And I have to start studying Malaysian history all over again. Eek.

Hugs and kisses all.

Recap

2008-04-15T20:24:00.009+08:00

Currently listening to: Pieces by Sum 41

07/04/08, Monday - 15/04/08, Tuesday

Yes, I think I owe whoever's still reading this an update. =)
Worked throughout the last week non-stop.

From Monday to Friday it was the Maxis Media Showcase.
Ally and I were the usherers..
Which pretty much means standing around looking pretty.
But getting paid of course. Lol.

Ooh. We saw Sean Kingston. Haha.
He. Is. HUGE.
No kidding.
Didn't look too friendly either. =P

There was another job on Friday and Saturday night but I didn't go for it.
Ally and the rest (Isa, Fu Chao, Daryl, Miki, Hellena & Najlaa) did the Hotlink promos at the Sean Kingston Showcase in Zouk and Coco Banana.
Heard it was pretty fun. But tiring though.

***

Anywho, I started working at Cats Whiskers on Saturday.
I'm all grown up, I have a job and everything haha. =D
It doesn't pay a lot but...
I'm happy to say that I like my job =))))))
Besides, they have very flexible hours.

Hehe. Oh yeah.
The sale at Cats Whiskers is still on people!
70% of ALL items except for new arrivals.
So hurry and visit the nearest outlet!
I'm at Damansara Perdana btw ;)

Some pictures of food from Sunday's dinner with the family at Italiannies, The Curve.
Haha. I seem to enjoy posting food pictures more.

Calamari Caesar Salad

Salmon Fettuccine

Tagged by Raycheerache!

2008-04-15T00:33:00.005+08:00

Instructions:
Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
25? 26? Somewhere along those lines. But definitely before I reach 30.

2. What is your most favourite thing to do?
Eat, Shop, Sleep, Eat, Shop, Sleep.

3. If you have a close close close close friend since childhood who loves to take away whatever you like, including guys/girls, and he/she always wins, will you still consider him/her your friend?
That's a stupid question to ask. Isn't the answer obvious enough. Geez.

4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
To work at Louis Vuitton/Gucci/Chanel/Dior.

5. Do you believe you can survive without money?
No. God, who came up with these questions??

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
My friends & family. As most have said, myself.

7. What do you feel like doing, right now?
I feel like doing something productive.

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Without a doubt.

9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
Rachel is the cutest; the best friend anyone could have; super funny.

10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Tall, A non-smoker (hint hint), Funny, Deep, Great personality, Great career, Strong principles, Indivuality.

11. Which type of person do you hate the most?
Liars, Fake personality, Rude people, The kind that think they're above everyone.

12. What is your ambition?
I haven't a clue. Something in the fashion industry.

13. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
Err.. I dunno. The kind that murders people?!

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
People around me, Education.

15. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
Shyness.

16. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
Rachel, Ally, Sang, Yau Chuan, Joe.

17. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Rich, Successful & Married.

18. Do you think you get hungry because you’re cold, or cold because you’re hungry?
Haha. I don't get hungry when I'm cold.

19. What's your all time favourite candy?
Reese's Peanut Butter!

20. If you could jump to any place in the world right now, where would it be?
Melbourne.

I tag:
- Ashwin
- Jian
- Shamay
- Lindy
- Leann
- Gwen
- Shannon
- Anyone else who enjoys doing tags =)

Threadszoo?

2008-04-05T20:53:00.004+08:00

Currently listening to: Love Song by Sara Bareilles

I woke up 11 this morning to go for this junk sale/flea market/somewhere along those lines thing.

Its called The Threadzoo which was held at TTDI Plaza.

Pretty cool idea I reckon. Bunch of people gathering in a place to buy, sell and trade.
Like Selltrade KL but not online. Lol. If that makes any sense :P

Though, the place was kinda packed and there was hardly any air ventilation.
(not a very large space).
So I didn't get a chance to really find the good stuff.
It's still on tomorrow, so if you get the chance, be sure to check it out ;)

After that, we (meaning Ally, Jo, Lyn, Leann & Myself) went to Cats Whiskers in Hartamas.
70 percent off everything!
You can't possibly pass that up.

Oh okay. I have a confession.
This is the third location we've been to. *blushes*
We actually went to the D'sara Utama and D'sara Perdana branch already.
So sue us for being shopaholics. Hehe.

And now I have to get ready to go the Launch of Micro at Baroque.
Whatever that means.
Lol. I really don't know what the event is about.
But I definitely will have an update about it later on. (I think/hope..)

And Ally is coming over with accessories for me to buy?!
Hehe. We'll see.
I've spent too much already. Eek.

Toodles. :)

Leann's Dinner Thingie at Sunway

2008-04-05T20:29:00.007+08:00

Tuesday, 25/03/08

Yes, yes. I know. Totally overdue.
And as usual, they're not even my pictures.
So everyone probably already seen them on Jo's blog.
Heh. *sheepish grin*

So Leann was our server.
The food was um.. meh.
If you know what I mean.

The lamb wasn't really cooked so we had to send it back.
The chicken was cold and dry.
The pasta was too jelak.
Apparently, Jo's appetizer tasted "weird".
The desserts were too rich.

Anywho, pictures are below people!

Chicken Mango Salad

California Maki

Breaded Chicken with Almond Flakes

Roast Lamb with Vegetables

Seafood Pasta

Dark Chocolate Mousse

When You Wake Up at 4 in the Afternoon

2008-04-02T20:36:00.012+08:00

Yeah. I know its bad to wake up so late but I really can't help it >.<
I was totally obssessed with Grey's last night.
Finally caught up to the latest episode of Season 4. Whee.

All I have to say is that, Meredith and McDreamy need to be together.
I mean they belong together. No matter how dark and twisty Meredith is.
The show seems more um.. happy when they are. Hehe.

And I really prefer the first 3 seasons compared to the latest.
Honestly, the show is just not the same without Addison and Burke.
Then again, the show has already been confirmed for the fifth season, so let's hope they'll make a comeback.
Hmm.. I really should check out Kate Walsh's spin off show, Private Practice.
Hope I'll have some time for that.

So anyway, this is what you resort to when you've got absolutely nothing to do during the holidays. Watch tv shows till the wee hours of the morning.

Then you wake up the next day thinking, "Shit. Its four. I've been sleeping the whole day. That sucks."

I have this bad habit of only waking up after 10 straight hours of sleep.
Very bad. I need to fix that.

After waking up to a rainy afternoon, I decided I was too lazy to go to the gym. Heh.
Well it was raining. Rain makes you more lazy than usual. = P

I thought to myself, I should bake instead.
With the help of Betty Crocker of course. Lol. =P
Yeah I haven't tried making cookies from scratch before. One day.. One day.

And this is how they turned out.

I hope you feel like having a cookie now. Hehe.

Seriously

2008-03-28T00:54:00.005+08:00

Currently listening to: Yesterday by Leona Lewis

Well, this blogging thing is honestly not all that's cracked up to be.

I'm bored of it already.

Seriously.

And by the way, not having a car sucks.

It's going to be in the workshop till Tuesday =(

Yes, it got banged last week.

Long story so here's a picture.

Go nuts.

Been more than bored throughout this one week of holidays. And when you're bored what do you do? You resort to One Tree Hill, Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives. Lol.

They make you laugh. They make you cry. And best of all, they make you think. Something that I haven't actually really done in a while.

And last but not least...

Reminder to self: I NEED TO GET A JOB!

New Year, New Goodbyes

2008-03-08T02:15:00.013+08:00

So yeah, I did decide to start writing again. Let's hope it'll last this time. And that it won't be boring >.<

01/03/08, Saturday

We had our last cocktail session with Rachel before she left for the Big Apple on Monday.

Exciting eh? Hehe.

So we decided to go to TTDI Plaza this time for a change.
Really nice place =) Should really go there more often people.

Some pictures that I stole because I'm too lazy to carry a damn camera around. Lol.

03/03/08, Monday

Some pictures before she left from KLIA. Sniff.

Yay. My first post after I-don't-know-how-long is done.

Hmm, Blogger should really have smileys like Xanga.

Tagged by Jo.. Again. I must be really bored.

2007-10-06T20:26:00.000+08:00

PART 1: State the rules. Bold the statements that are true to you. Italise the statements that you WISH are true. Leave the Fibs alone. Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.

PART 2: The tag.

I miss somebody right now.
I dont watch TV these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (okay, maybe not all the time)
I curse.
I have changed mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm totally smart. (then i could cure cancer or something lol.)
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really,really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling. (i'm an only child..)
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way I look. (i think everyone is insecure about their looks)
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings. (only during periods kay!)
I have a hidden talent. (i really wish..)
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex. (it was fiona lol.)
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop. (I love it so much i'm studying it haha.)
Enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat. (actually they're about the same)
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex. (sometimes, wish i wasn't though.)
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends. (i wouldn't know unless i'm in that situation)
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I am happy at this moment! (actualy i'm indifferent.)
I'm obsessed with guys.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I am comfortable with who I am right now. (well not entirely of course.)
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream. (definitely)
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went to college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie. (only during exam period hehe.)
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex. (yes, i do love my girlfriends lol.)
I love being happy. (who doesn't?)
I am an adrenaline junkie.

PART 3: Tag people to do the same.

~ Shamay
~ Melissa
~ Shannon
~ Jian
~ Ashwin

Got tagged by Raycheerache =)

2007-09-25T01:06:00.000+08:00

RULES (crap!) :
1. The victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect partner.
2. Has to mention the gender (male!) of his or her partner.
3. Tag 8 other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the 2nd time, there is NO need to do it again.
5. Lastly, have fun doing it!

Well see actually, I'm much much too lazy to do this tag. Haha.
So, just to cut things short. Go and get to know Ashwin ;) (And btw, he's male people haha.)
Yayy.. I'm done. *Claps for myself*
*Oh wait, maybe a pet on the head too =P Hehe.*

Okie dokie. And now for the 8 "victims" Mwahahahaha.
1) Shamayyyy (don't be so lazyyyy hehe.)
2) Lindyyyy (yes! i know ur very semangat.. do it k!)
3) Allyyyy (i think she like stopped blogging lol.)
4) Isaaaa (don't think he reads this anymore haha.)
5) Jiannnn (hmm.. i think he still checks occasionally..)
6) Melissaaaa (where the hell is ur new blog la woman! =P better check my blog and let me know yeah)
7) Vannieeee (miss you sun kissed aussie babe ;))
8) Ashwinnnn (last but not least =))

Okay, back to Facebook-ing =)

Update

2007-09-10T00:38:00.000+08:00

Everything is about timing isn't it?

Simple as that.

Avril comes up with the most emo songs. Yet they relate.

Well, an update's an update.

Tagged by Jo.

2007-08-11T01:36:00.000+08:00

OMG OMG. I'm updating. Lol. Moving on to the tagg..

Four Jobs I’ve Had In My Life:
1) This office job in a magazine publishing company
2) Customer service assistant at Aquaria klcc
3) Student
4) Daughter

Four Places I Have Lived:
1) Taman Tun
2) Bandar Utama
3) OU haha. My second home ;)
4) I think you've noticed that I haven't lived in a lot of places hehe.

Four Places I have been on Vacation:
1) Hong Kong/China
2) Australia
3) USA
4) Korea

Four of My Favourite Foods:
1) Ham and cheese sandwiches
2) Chocolate
3) Strawberries
4) Asian food

Four Places I would rather be right now:
1) On vacation anywhere with my friends for shopping
2) Studying abroad in New York
3) Hanging out with the Taman Tun gang
4) Disneyworld!

Finally, the Fantastic Four friends for Tagging:
1) Vannie
2) Shamay
3) Ashwin
4) Isa

*God, what a boring tag =(
I kinda miss blogging actually.. Just don't know what to blog about. Everything's become so monotonous lately.
Everyone's leavinggg. Sob.

Uber Cool Feature

2007-06-17T19:11:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time since I've posted an entry. I wonder if people still visit this page.. Lol.

Anyway, I noticed something today. I mean I guess I'm kinda slow but yeah, oh well.
As we all know, there's this feature on MSN Messenger that allows you to write personal messages at the end of our nicknames. I just realised what a great way it is to express how you're feeling at any given time.

I mean, take a look at the personal messages written by the people on your MSN contact list. They're all different. Some are 'emo', some are happy, some are random. And some just can't be explained or understood unless you ask that person about it.

I think in a way that's what makes it cool. Let's face it, how many people on your contact list do you actually talk to? I think it would be roughly 10 in a hundred people for me. Or even less. So, eventhough you don't talk to the rest of the people on your list much, through what they write on their personal message slot, it gives you a teeny bit of insight into what's going on in their lives.

I don't know about you, but sometimes if someone has a very upsetting message written, I'd be inclined to ask them what the matter is and if they wanted to talk about it. Everyone needs a little comforting sometimes, right?

So the whole point of this post was.. Actually, there is no point =P I was just bored and while going through my MSN Messenger window, the whole personal message thingie just hit me as this really cool and smart invention haha.

Anyway, I'm gonna be moving blogs soon. I feel its.. Time. Haha. Once I get the time to set up my new blog of course. Now let's just hope I update the new one more often =) Toodles.

2007-05-10T03:45:00.000+08:00

We all get caught up.
We carry the world on our shoulders.
We all feel lost, lonely and afraid sometimes. That's the reality of it whether we want to accept it or not.
You can't expect everything to be bright and sunny all the time. It has to rain sooner or later.
When that rain starts to pour, you can either sit back and watch it happen or go out into it and embrace it.
The world can be your enemy or it can be your friend. It is what you want to make of it.
So what's wrong with taking a chance with people? What's wrong with putting yourself out there for once?
What do you have to loose? Afterall, isn't that what makes us grow as human beings?
Sometimes all we need is someone who's there to give us that little bit of comfort. To tell us that things will be okay.
Everyone needs assurance, thats why other people exist.
I believe that's one of the purposes of our existence. To help those around us.
So, you people (yes you) out there who are afraid to let anyone in, let go of that fear. What's the worst that could happen?

Fallen

2007-05-10T02:56:00.000+08:00

by Sarah Mclachlan

Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so

We all begin with good intent
When love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past can be undone
But we carry on our back the burdens time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
I have held so dear

Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so

Heaven bend to take my hand
I've nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one misstep one slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so

Notes from the Handphone

2007-04-24T23:57:00.000+08:00

Is there really such a thing as love when you're at such an early stage in your life? So as usual there are always two point of views. Yes and No.

The so called more realistic point of view would obviously be no. Because when you are young, the term 'puppy love' is usually assumed and used to describe teenagers who are 'in love'. You are considered too young to even comprehend the meaning, power of love and all of its manifestations. Apparently adults think you haven't been through enough in your lifetime to know what love truly is. Young and stupid they always say.

On the other hand, some argue that love is a feeling and expression so strong that none of us can even begin to control when it happens to us regardless of what age. That you can love someone no matter how old you are and know that it is in fact real love. You could be 80 and still not recognize what love is. You could be married for 25 years and it could be the same case.

So who are adults to tell you that it isn't love? That its just something short of a phase in your life or an infatuation of some sort.

I suppose this is as always one of those things that you can never really define or be sure of. You just have to observe the people around you or go through it yourself. I guess its true when they say the older you are, the wiser you become. You see and experience more things which is always exciting of course and at the same time you learn through your mistakes and shortcomings.

I hope and pray that at the end of my life, I would be able to finally understand the way things run its course. Not why they happen just how they all seem to fall into place. Though for me, i really don't mind just staying young and innocent. Its pure bliss. I'm in absolutely no hurry to grow up :)

Random

2007-04-11T01:19:00.000+08:00

If you were a compulsive or even a not-so-complusive blogger who blogged about anything and everything..
What you do everyday,
Your exact thoughts at that certain moment or any moment for that matter,
And then published it online for all the world to see and judge,

What would be left for you in the end?
What will happen to the one thing that you used to able to call your own? Your thoughts.
Doesn't hurt to be mysterious once in a while does it?

The Five

2007-04-11T00:30:00.000+08:00

" People leave to make room for new people. "

" The hard times are there for you to appreciate the good ones. But the hard times are really hard aren't they? "

" Enjoy the fact that you love someone eventhough you can't be with them. Just be happy about it. "

" What if I promised you that things won't change? I will always be there for you. "

" Hope Springs Eternal "

*These are five lines quoted from the important people around me that I will always hold on to. Hopefully there will be more added to the list :)

Beautiful Love

2007-03-25T20:10:00.000+08:00

by The Afters

Far away, I feel your beating heart
All Alone, beneath the crystal stars
Staring into space what a lonely face
I'll try to find my place with you

What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for a while?
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful love
My beautiful love

Larger than the moon, my love for you
Worlds collide as heaven pulls us through
The secret of the world is written in the stars
I'm carrying your heart in mine

What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for a while?
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful love

Maybe a greater thing will happen
Maybe all will see
Maybe your love will catch like fire
As it burns through me

Maybe a greater thing will happen
Maybe all will see
Maybe your love will catch like fire
As it burns through me

Maybe a greater thing will happen
Maybe all will see
Maybe your love will catch like fire
As it burns through me

What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for a while?
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right

What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for a while?
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful lalalala love
Lalalala love
My beautiful lalalala love
Lalalala love
My beautiful love

*I've never posted any songs before but this is one is just too awesome not to :)

The Best Moments in Life

2007-03-25T00:32:00.000+08:00

I got this in an email so let's see how many I've experienced.

1. Falling in love. (maybe? I'm not too sure)
2. Laughing till your stomach hurts. (YES.. and man does it hurt)
3. Enjoying a ride down the country side. (not exactly since I live in Malaysia lol)
4. Listening to your favorite song on the radio. (yup)
5. Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside. (mm.. yes..)
6. Getting out of the shower and wrapping yourself with a warm, fuzzy towel. (yes)
7. Passing your final exams with good grades. (yes? hehe)
8. Being part of an interesting conversation. (always)
9. Finding some money in some old pants. (surprisingly, no)
10. Laughing at yourself. (sometimes)
11. Sharing a wonderful dinner with all your friends. (definitely)
12. Laughing without a reason. (yeah when I don't get enough of sleep :P)
13. "Accidentally" hearing someone say something good about you. (nope)
14. Watching the sunrise. (sadly no.. but I'm sure I will someday)
15. Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in your life. (yeah)
16. Receiving or giving your first kiss. (nope. it will happen when I find the right person)
17. Feeling this movement in your body when seeing this "special" someone. (hmm.. strangely no..)
18. Having a great time with your friends. (yup, all the time)
19. Seeing the one you love happy. (yeah i guess so)
20. Wearing the shirt of a person you love and smelling his/her perfume. (no)
21. Visiting an old friend of yours and remembering great memories. (yeah.. I love reminiscing about the past)
22. Hearing someone telling you "I LOVE YOU". (haha.. sure.. my parents.. pfft)

So that's about 14 out of 22 things.. I suppose its not bad for an 18 year old hehe.
Seems like a lot of it revolved around love. I've completely forgotten how everything basically ends up relating back to love.
I think love is the ultimate answer to life and the universe. (not the number 42 like what Isa thinks lol.)
Makes a lot of sense to me now that I think about it. What about you?

Tagged by Jo and Ashwin!

2007-03-23T00:19:00.000+08:00

Each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things about themselves.People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own, 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly.In the end, you need to choose 5 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog!

1) I don't like sauce on anything. Yes, even chilli and ketchup.
2) I open the fridge door just for fun everytime i enter the kitchen.
3) I hate banana cake and all things banana.
4) I collect shopping bags.. haha.. yeah I love shopping that much.
5) I never feel awkward in awkward situations.
6) I hate dreaming regardless if they're good or bad because I'm afraid that they'll come true. (I get deja vus way too often.)

I'm gonna tag,
- vannie
- melissa
- jian
- lien yiny
- shamay

Edited

2007-03-03T00:43:00.000+08:00

I actually wrote a post earlier but then decided to delete it.
It's amazing how writing something halfway just makes you realise other things.
Then everything seems crystal clear to you.
I freakin care too much about the things that happen, people around me, the expectations from other people.
I care too much if things are going right or not.
I care too much if people are happy or sad.
I care too much about living up to other people's standards.
And I can't help but care. That's just who I am.
That's probably why I get so emotional and sensitive sometimes.
For as long as I can remember, I've always believed that a person can change if they really wanted to. If they have the drive to do so.
Now I'm starting to doubt myself. Can they really change who they are inside for the better?
My opinions seem to be shifting and maybe you are who you are. No matter how hard you try to be someone better than you are now you'll always just be you.

I have a question for whoever's reading this; Can you care enough but not love?

Choices

2007-02-27T23:54:00.000+08:00

Have you ever made a decision that may not have changed anything at all at that time but a few weeks/months/years later you realise what an impact that decision made on a current situation ur at?
It could be anything. Even things that seem small and insignificant at the time.
For example; to go to college or not today, to quit a job or not, to stay in or go out tonight, to reply a text or not etc.
The consequences of that decision could be either good or bad. (though if its bad, its so scary when you think about it.)
But sometimes it amazes me cos even when you yourself don't know it yet, everything somehow some way just seems to fall right into place. All the events just seem to relate. Thats of course in a good or bad way as well. Hehe. Ironic no? (and isn't everything in life ironic? Beautiful yet ugly.)
Okay, maybe you won't understand what I'm talking about here cos it seems like a blur (I'm not a very good at translating my thoughts into words) but try observing the people or things around you and maybe you'll get a better picture.

*This is what came out after talking to Isa lol. Tip of advice from him: Trust your gut feeling when making decisions. May you make the right choices in all that you do. =)
(Ashwin, is this post lousy too? haha)

Another one

2007-02-24T23:51:00.000+08:00

Life is beautiful but complicated at the same time. And we don't have to understand it.
Little things happen unexpectedly each week of your life that just makes you want to smile.
Painful things happen unexpectedly each week of your life that just makes you want to cry.
Everytime something good happens you feel as though life isn't so bad after all and that you can still go on.
Everytime something bad happens you wonder where the line is drawn and how much you can still take.
Sometimes you reach a point or period in your life where you've never felt more alone.
I know I've said before that the only time wasted is the time spent thinking that you're alone.
But I think in a way everyone feels that way eventhough they don't show it or they don't want to show it.
Most of the time that feeling doesn't stay for long. It comes and it goes. Like a bad dream.
Come to think of it, life is a lot like that huh?
You have the good moments which are of course the sweet dreams and the bad ones which are mostly nightmares.
Then you wake up and realise how fast that dream ended.
Funny how SO many things can be interpreted into something related to life.
Makes you wonder doesn't it? (or maybe its just me)
Someone should really put every interpretation into a book or something.
It could become a best-seller. Or not. Haha.

Bah.

2007-02-07T19:18:00.000+08:00

I wish I had someone whom I can talk to and who can cheer me up right now.
This is a bloody emo blog that shouldn't be read by anyone because I only blog when I'm upset.
So whoever's reading this, stop reading!
Thank you =)

I think too much

2007-01-26T23:59:00.000+08:00

Why is it that everytime you think something good or even great is going to happen it never happens? It seems like God gives you that little bit of hope just to make you feel better for a minute and then takes it away in a split second. Then you just end up where you first began. The same person that you are except that you feel like something's missing. Its sad and painful when something like that happens and when you know you did nothing wrong. No one is there to tell you why.

I'm getting tired of thinking of a title. Haha.

2007-01-22T21:14:00.000+08:00

I hate being e-m-o. Its not good and you're always perceived as weird. Can people actually change? I mean you're supposed to be yourself, but what if being who you are, thinking the things that you think is just not right? Well actually who can tell what's right and what's wrong anyway? Wouldn't it be perfect if there were someone who could just answer all of mankind's burning questions about the oh-so-mysterious world that we live in? Afterall, they always say there's a reason behind everything that happens. Hmm, then again.. what you find out may not be what you've been expecting.. so maybe's there's a reason we're not supposed to understand the things that happen around us. Human behaviour can be so complicated and intriguing.

I wonder what it would be like if we knew everything.
Pretty boring I would say. Haha =)

What a pointless post.

Birthdays and wishes

2007-01-14T23:16:00.000+08:00

You know how everytime its your birthday and you make a wish while you blow off the candles on you're cake? (Well that's if you have a cake =P) Then people always say that you should never ever tell anyone what you wished for 'cos then it won't come true. Obviously i can't remember what I've wished for in the past.. I can only remember what it was last year and this year. I'm not trying to be negative/emo or anything but it didn't really come true last year.. I don't think it came true in the previous years either. The strange thing is that I think I've wished for the same thing a couple of times. So this year it was a different wish. What do you think are the odds of it coming true? Not very high eh? Hehe. So I ask myself this, why do we bother sometimes? Unless of course there's someone out there who's wishes have come true. Let me know yeah? ;)

Hmm.. I wonder who was the genius who came up with this whole wishing idea..

Just so you know

2007-01-14T22:32:00.000+08:00

I think baskin robbins decided not to produce winter white chocolate anymore.. There goes my favourite flavour =(

And I just found out that natalie (which is my confirmation name in case ur wondering why I'm talking about the name lol) means birth haha.

?

2007-01-13T01:53:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt so many mixed emotions at one point of time that you become so confused you don't even know where to begin in the first place? You probably don't even understand the question I just asked right? Hehe. It's just a confusing expression of my feelings =)

A Random Note to Myself

2007-01-11T23:54:00.000+08:00

I found a note I wrote to myself quite sometime ago that I got off somewhere while I was doing a bit of tidying up. Figured maybe I should post it up since well, I've got nothing else to post up haha.

*If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

During happy moments, praise God.
During difficult moments, seek God.
During quiet moments, worship God.
During painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

Now I realise why I actually took the time to write down something like this. Its a reminder that pops up unexpectedly at exactly the right moment. I think whoever who's reading this will agree with me on how mysterious life can be. How eventhough we all have to go through the rough times, there will always be things that happen out of the blue that make you somewhat happy even if it is only for a short while. Happy or sad moments don't last for long but I think we should be very grateful for the happy moments and learn how to move on when they're over.

The new year

2006-12-31T02:19:00.000+08:00

The only time wasted is the time spent thinking you're alone. 2007 is nearing and I'm going to make a promise to myself to change for the better. Live it to its fullest and appreciate the time i have with those around me before its too late. You can't turn back time or undo what you've done but you can live in the moment and make your life happier and more fulfilling. Only you can determine what you want your life to be.

Loneliness

2006-12-29T02:13:00.000+08:00

The feeling you get when no one is around to listen. You're surrounded by tonnes of people yet that feeling creeps inside of you. You have what most people don't, yet you fret about what you don't have. You should be grateful yet you never are. Thats human nature. Never satisfied. So should we feel guilty about it or not? Saying no would just mean you're not being honest with yourself. How are we supposed to act? Are you supposed to do the right thing and not complain about it only to find it's not you to surpress your feelings? Either way it ends up the same. Putting on a fake smile everyday or acting sad and depressed both don't work. Somehow you end up stuck anyway.

Loss

2006-12-26T23:49:00.000+08:00

Different people deal with loss in their lives differently. It amazes me how humans can be so strong when put in such situations. Honestly, without divine intervention, i don't think it would be possible. Yes, i know some may disagree but that's just my opinion. Obviously not everyone is the same.. we all have different tolerance levels. Some crack easily and give in but some persevere. I guess its because some hold on to that hope. When there is hope there is faith. When there is faith there can be miracles. It's worth fighting to survive when obstacles come in the way if you believe that something better is yet to come. Sometimes staying positive and holding on to that belief is the most important thing in any situation.

No title?

2006-12-20T22:59:00.000+08:00

Just when you think that things couldn't get any worse it does. And the worse part is that there's no one there to catch you when you fall. So what do you do? How do you stay strong?

A very random post

2006-12-15T22:29:00.000+08:00

People are never what they seem to be. You may think that someone is happy from how they act everyday but what do you know? For all you know, they might be going through a really difficult time. Someone may seem superficial but deep down they can be the nicest people you'll ever know. I suppose everyone has another side to them that they're afraid to show for fear they will be seen differently. I guess sometimes we're too quick to judge someone. And also too ignorant to care about those around us. We forget that our friends have feelings and also a sensitive side to them no matter how tough they may seem. Everybody's too caught up in their own affairs that they tend to forget about everything else. It's always me, me and me. Sigh. I feel bad for those who don't have anyone to talk to when they're down or upset. I feel the need to be more kind with other people and to gossip less. But somehow i can't help it. I try and try and try but it never seems to come through. Anyway, people just arent very caring anymore nowadays and its sad to see something like that happen. What are we turning into?

Fake

2006-05-30T01:19:00.000+08:00

The world is made out of fakers. There is not one single person out there who isn’t fake. No matter how nice or bad they seem to be, there is always a slight portrayal of fakeness. It’s just a matter of how nice or bad. People do things that they themselves know would never do out of fear that they might get rejected. They fake their personalities and characters to feel accepted and in order to feel superior to others. Those who notice this trait and then decide to press on it is just considered prideful. Why is it that not one human being in this world can just be themselves and look past other peoples’ insecurities? We all have our own insecurities yet we seem to feel comfortable about judging others about it. That in my opinion is another act of insecurity. What ever happened to speaking your mind? To being well YOU? Individuality is such a rare thing nowadays. You’d be very lucky to bump into someone who has even a hint of that quality.

*I'm in a foul mood. Example of fakeness: crying to draw sympathy etc. So yes I admit, I am prideful.

Change

2006-02-03T23:05:00.000+08:00

It just seems like everyone's leaving these days.. first it was Sang, then Vannie, recently Dharma and after that Darrel. pretty soon everyone's going to be out of the country. ugh, its just not nice when everything starts to change. yeah, yeah.. deal with it everyone will say. and they also say its not easy but you have to blablabla. there's just so much pressure and i know its neverending.. until you die of course.. hehe. time goes by so quickly. i remember when Sang told me that she was going to Aussie to study last year. i was like "what the $#&^%$?!" it was just so sad. i thought we were going to go through form 4 and form 5 together and sit for the SPM examination together and everything. she comes back during the holidays at least twice a year.. and its been a week since she went back to Aussie. i just miss having her around.. we go out so often when she comes back and it feels so nice to have her there. i can talk to her about anything and she understands me so well. i dont know how she does it but she's just always there and somehow just gets me. she's just wonderful and makes everyone smile when they're around her and i'm sure all her other friends would agree. so Sang this will sort of be my plane letter to you. i wanna let you know that you are just one of the best friends that i could ever have and i can only hope that we'll stay friends. i know its not a 5 page thing but good enough i hope? hehe. (if i were to write a real letter it would take me a few hours ;) ) so i guess i'm just going to deal with all the new things that are happening and make the best possible decisions. also, i desperately need to learn to love God and love the other people around me. because that is what life is all about. (quoted from Purpose Driven Life)

The new year!

2006-01-02T00:46:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 2006 EVERYONE! Last night was one of the best nights ive ever had! =D this was the first time i actually had fun during new years eve. i spent it with my besties and my seniors. we had dinner and did the countdown at the curve. we even had our little snow war thingie with the spry cans like what helena said :) the music came on after that and we were all dancing and having fun. it was awesome. we left after a while and went to get supper. i had a great night and im so grateful for everyone's company. i suddenly feel stupid for putting up my past entries. i guess those were just my rough times and we all have to go through them. right now, im just going to treasure and make the best of all the relationships that i have formed. at the same time, be more open to new ones. 2006 is going to be very different and i pray that i'll be able to learn from my past mistakes. just to be a happier and more positive person from now on :)

* God is Great.

The end of the year

2005-12-30T00:22:00.000+08:00

You wouldnt believe the amount of things that's been running through my mind these past two days. i couldnt even sleep well. it was just Christmas the other day and i was all cheery. should have known better than to believe that it would actually last because things change just like that. the new year isnt even here yet and i already have such a negative impression. my seniors wont be around anymore.. it'll just be the stupid school and the form that i hate being in. cant you just feel the emo-ness already? LoL. yeah, this is time where everyone reflects.. what they have and havent done. i for one realised how much i regretted something that i did, or rather didnt do. and it was over a year ago.. how slow can i be eh? i feel like crying when i think about it. ive never got over him afterall.. all i did was put him at the back of my mind and just avoid it. but its too late now anyway.. so all thats left to do is to just permanently forget. my new years resolution is to make a promise to myself to never let something like that slip away ever again. to take chances with people because if you dont you'll just end up drowning yourself in regret. to not be afraid of situations and learn to trust those around me. i really have to be more independent. i guess these are some of the weaknesses that i only just found out about. is it a little too early to bid farewell to the year 2005? oh well.. hehe. goodbye to all my regrets! goodbye to the best seniors i ever had! (im really gonna miss having you guys around school.. keep in touch!) i love you guys! GoodBye 2005!

* I feel a lot better after thinking things through and hopefully i'll mature after everything that's happened this year. so feel free to comment people! thats if ur still reading haha. :)

People

2005-11-28T23:42:00.000+08:00

Its been freakin long since my last update. i feel i owe it to myself to update this blog once in a while. these past few months has been.. awesome i would say :) ive been having so much fun that ive been completely oblivious to the people and the things that are happening around me. i know this is weird but, it feels like a really selfish act. seems like i used to care so much, too much maybe and now i dont. so lately ive met alot of new people yeah.. and i cant help but judging this new set of people that ive met. old friendships die.. and new ones are formed. they're the same people of course.. but it feels different because i dont trust them? im not sure if its even called trust but its just different. like its just a lie and everything's fake. yeah so what if you talk to them all the time? it just feels like empty and hollow conversations. although i know that i should be very grateful for those who listen.. i feel like a burden to them cos its always one sided. it feels like "why the hell would i wanna listen to your stupid problems?" is all this supposed to be normal? i dont think that im the greatest listener or greatest friend in the world for that matter. but right now i dont believe that there is a genuine individual out there. i think we are all really fake people who pretend to be something that we're not just the please everyone, one way or another. including myself. we only see it in other people but we dont realise that we too act that way. it just seems more prominent in some. human beings just cant be trusted and are just too self absorbed to care about anything else but themselves. i guess the only one you can trust is God.

* Hopefully there's someone reading this then. happy commenting.

Confused

2005-08-29T23:21:00.000+08:00

Its been a rather though week.. and if it hadnt be a certain someone who was there i don't think i would have made it. thanks. though, its odd that people can just appear out of nowhere and at the time you need them the most.. but at the same time is not there is not always there for you.. people that you've long forgotten and put aside. its so confusing.. everything's a blur.. they can just appear and then disappear before you know it. and i'm still searching for an answer.. i just can't seem to put my finger on it with certain people.. how their mind works, so mysterious is many ways. i cant let go of it.. as much as i dislike this person for being what he is.. i need to know why. sounds stupid i know.. but its hard to find someone that you can connect with on that level. things just have to be so hard and complicated.. i guess thats life eh? i'm frankly quite sure that he's gonna disappear again. typical. waiting is just too useless and disappointing. so whats the point? anyway moving on, i've been working at aquaria klcc and its such a nice place to work at.. hehe.. the place is awesome, the people are friendly, the wages are reasonable.. what more could you want eh? *though my feet will hurt like hell at the end of the day lol* hmm.. what people say is true.. so much can change in such a short period of time.. you'll never know when it'll hit you.

*Leave me some comments if you like.. appreciate it :)

Trust [Plagiarized]

2005-08-23T23:52:00.000+08:00

Forgive me for plagiarism but this was just too interesting to pass up. i came across this at my friend, vannie's blog and i cant express enough how true it is. Just read it.. there's just so much truth in it.

"you see, trust is something priceless..it cannot be obtained through any other method other than EARNING it.be it by the way you treat a person, the duration of your relationship with a person or the simple chemistry between two individuals. hence, the value of owning a person's trust is plainly priceless, without question. trust is such a complex thing that it comes hand-in-hand with respect. no one, i repeat, NO ONE , has the authority to ,misuse a person's trust. it is a very VERY dishonest thing to do. doesn't the phrase 'basic human decency' even mean the tiniest thing to anyone nowadays? come on, we are all one leap away to reaching our adulthood. we're old enough to understand that our actions have their repercussions. what is worse is that if our decisions happen to hurt the people/person whom you supposedly care about. do not be a hypocrite. please, do not say that you hold a person up on a pedestal apart from others and then vandalize the foundation of trust that you both so tediously built over time. this matter is not one big joke. people's feelings do get hurt and they hurt bad. emotions invested get stamped on over one rather childish act . they leave people feeling very silly, naiive and used . why do that? why choose to do something so mean ? why spoil something with the potential of giving you timeless memories? relationships are fragile and should be treasured with nothing but utmost respect and dignity , MUTUALLY ! now, too bad we don't have a time machine ,huh?"

I've been through this.. and i know exactly how it feels to be in that sort of position. its really not very nice to misuse someone else's trust. cos once you do that, you'll have a very tough time getting it back. and well of course, you'll never know the amount of damage you've caused to that person. very hurting personally.

I'm back..

2005-07-30T00:28:00.000+08:00

Yes i know i havent been blogging in a while.. about a month maybe? ive been way to pre-occupied lately.. its not even supposed to happen like that.. im supposed to be more laid back this year.. its form 4 for goodness sake. sigh. but i guess im not the only one.. everyone else is busy with spm etc. lately i've realised how much i need God in my life.. and i know some people may question and judge my opinions about everything having a divine purpose. ive experienced life with God and without Him *without meaning not having a good relationship with him and this has been happening on and off* and i can truly see what big a difference it can make. ive noticed the times when ive drifted apart from Him and how torn apart my life became.. ive even noticed how much of anger, resentment and bitterness ive harboured in myself throughout the past month.. and since i havent been able to express it to anyone, its just been building up.. not that i dont want to.. but for the first time, i just dont know how. there are like a million things running through my mind right now and i dont seem to be able to let it out.. the people around me on the other hand arent making it any easier for me.. i just dont understand how some people can be so inconsiderate, selfish and oblivious.. *i understand that other people have problems too but hey this is my blog so i guess im entitled to ramble about mine instead of theirs* i just dont get it. my whole life is an act. theres so much that my friends dont know about me, my family, what i go through everyday. i look and seem cheerful all the time but who knows whats really inside of me? i doubt even a handful understand me, or anyone for that matter. at this point, i dont feel like i can trust anyone. i feel like im forced to face it alone eventhough i dont want to.

* I had a bad day and thats as far as i could get.. i just might regret publishing this but

Dating issues.. who would have thought?

2005-06-13T23:58:00.000+08:00

Well its been ages since i last updated my blog.. somehow i havent had much to blog about.. its been a busy 2 weeks of holidays. hardly felt like one actually.. its been so hectic till i think i hardly have time to even ponder or daydream much lately. Hmm.. well there is this one thing that got me to thinking. what do you guys think about people from other races dating a malay? i mean, is it really wrong to do so? then there's that whole issue about converting if you ever get married and so on and so forth. its just dating.. will it really get that serious to the point where you have to convert? you have to admit, there are parents that are totally against dating malays.. saying how it may get serious and you shouldn't get urself into it.. stressing on the whole conversion hoo-haa. you never know how serious it can get right.. so are you supposed to just totally stay away from it? or go into a relationship thinking that it would be absolutely impossible for you to ever convert?

* First of all, no offense is meant to any malays out there! i'm merely voicing out my opinions and questions. comments please! :)

It doesn't have a title

2005-05-23T02:04:00.000+08:00

Ever notice how relationships, be it friends, family or schoolmates grow apart so easily? when you think you're getting closer to someone and beginning to understand that person, he/she does or says something that makes you feel like a total stranger to them. one minute ur having such blissful conversations and the next you find yourself totally ignoring that particular person. how is it that this kind of thing can even happen? i mean, when you find that you're finally starting to connect with that person.. all of a sudden *poof* its gone. the time spent all gone down the drain.. you find someone that actually understands you and makes you laugh.. but just never lasts.. how peculiar.. why does God make it in such a way? is it not right? how is it really supposed to be? i wonder how the Lord's mind works..

* Had a sudden urge to blog.. comments anyone?

Patience

2005-05-18T01:15:00.000+08:00

Patience brings meaning to endurance of pain or perseverance. ever noticed how hard it is to do so? its difficult to contain our emotions when everything isn't going the way we want it to. an individual with a weak spirit tend to just show their temper or break down in tears because of pressure. all the strength that we would possibly need is God given. so why can't they toughen up and face their problems? or rather fears or insecurities? what's the use of sreaming and yelling when ur not going to do anything about it? what good could possibly come out of that? all it does is sends a negative message to the people around you. us humans are very judgemental i would say.. one wrong move and people won't even want to accociate themselves with you [i honestly think thats what our society today is like] sometimes if you actually take the time to listen to what others have to say and stop being to self-centered for once, you might find that the relationships that you have formed would take a giant leap ahead. i feel that patience and tolerance involving the two parties is crucial in any relationship. but hang on, there's always a limit to it don't you think?

* All you do is give, and most of the time you get nothing in return. except for maybe the feeling that you've done the right thing.

Bleak

2005-05-16T00:26:00.000+08:00

I hate my blog! argh! it seems extremely boring and oh so serious.

* You can ignore this entry.. i still think the blog sucks though.

A sign

2005-05-13T23:05:00.000+08:00

The solemness in the atmosphere
brings sight into life
these blue eyes will see
the road ahead
the long journey
pain and suffering
anger and resentment
then a sign
reads dead end
is soon to come

* I really really wanted to actually blog about something but this was all that came to me.. hope you guys don't mind.. comments are always appreciated :)

Two part entry

2005-05-07T00:18:00.000+08:00

Time to blog.. havent been updating for abit.. i've been observing lately.. of the friends that we have around us.. regardless of whether they're girls or guys.. each and every one of them are different from the next. i wonder sometimes how miraculous it is that out of so many people in the world, they are your friends. then again.. looking at it.. how many of them can you actually call real friends? i would say most of them are just merely aquaintances.. and sometimes even ur closest friends.. the ones you trust and confide in the most end up betraying you. some of them dont even appreciate you, they just walk all over you and take you for granted. at the end of the day, i still think that God will always be the best friend you can have. He's always there for you and will never betray you in any way. speaking of God, the other day, a friend of mine told me that i was a good Christian. after that i thought, what does it even mean to be a good Christian anyway? i still don't know the answer.. i guess that doesn't make me a very good Christian afterall?

* I'm currently having writer's block.. no inspiration to write.. bleak.. comments please ;)

Who cares if it even has a title?

2005-04-22T00:05:00.000+08:00

We, as humans, living in this tiny world that's going to come to an end very soon anyway have no significance at all. everyone complains about their problems, the trials and tribulations that they go through every single day of their miserable lives. they think they're the only ones going through it but they just dont realise that there's always someone else who's facing a bigger problem than they are. what the hell.. we as individuals think we're so high and mighty and that everything we say is important. i think that humans are egoistic and stubborn beings. we don't listen to others when they correct us, why? because we choose not to. we enjoy boasting about how good we are to others, why? because inside we feel insecure about ourselves and our position among peers or even society itself. it's human nature to rebel and we're always tempted to do so, most of us give in to that temptation. to think negatively, to blow up whenever we feel the need to, to throw curses around. it's not easy to resist temptation because it just feels so good. how many people actually have the ability and strength to overcome it?

* I'm feeling extremely depressed... don't even have a clear picture of my thoughts... comments please...

A certain emptiness

2005-04-04T22:25:00.000+08:00

The pope passed away just yesterday... was sad cos he's been the leader of all the catholics around the world for so many years.. and his time finally came. but it felt okay though cos everyone knew that he had gone to be with the Lord. at mass, the priest said that today's mass was to be a celebration after the mourning.. why? simply because its a symbol of new life for the pope.. he need not go through all the sickness anymore and the Lord had taken him to a better place. in other words, death is not always a bad thing.. depends on how you look at it.. whether you want to be optimistic about it or rather be a pessimist. then again, if ur life was as fufilling as the pope's, death would mean that everything will soon be over and it won't be long till the time you go back to where you belong. but what if you've gone through life not knowing what ur purpose was? what God had planned for you to do? the main reason you even exist till now? life would seem pretty empty wouldn't it?

* couldn't continue.. not sure of what else to say.. comments please..

Scars

2005-04-02T23:02:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. havent updated it in a while have i.. well, its mainly because i havent had anything i want to express lately.. let's see.. scars in ur life reminds you that the past was real.. got that from a song.. i find alot of truth in it. the past affects the future, past experiences make you the person you are today.. it can make a turn for the better or the opposite, the worst. every person leads a different type of life, and every person in some point of his/her life reaches the stage.. the stage where they reach a point where they just feel like breaking down.. running away from it all.. no matter how tough or cheerful they may seem on the outside.. it happens to every single one of us and it may be because of the things that you've done in the past or any other reason for that matter. somehow, it happens at a very unexpected time.. guess thats the life God prepared for us.. you never know what might happen next. it might happen tomorrow, next week, next month or even five years down the road. you can never tell. it even came as a surprise to me.

* I don't seem to be getting any comments lately.. whoever thats reading this blog, please leave me a comment! i wanna get ur opinions.. hehe.. but i wont be picky so anything's fine :)

p.s. i miss you yc!

Good Friday

2005-03-25T22:51:00.000+08:00

Today's Good Friday, i thought mass felt abit different today. Somehow the solemness in the atmosphere felt good to me.. and i have no clue why. The priest spoke of Jesus' last words in his sermon today. I could relate to alot of the things that he was saying.. He also talked about the cross being a symbol of Christianity.. and the passion that Christ found. It was all relative to the sermon yesterday in which he spoke of our purpose in life.. something that we thirst and strive for.. something that drives us.. without it we're practically lost.. not many have found it.. and some never did. I myself havent found it yet.. its a mystery to most.. and i can only hope that it will be revealed to me soon. We shouldnt just look at the cross as a symbol of our faith, but instead, let it represent our life. 'Jesus of Nazarene, King of the Jews' "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do." "Today you will be with me in paradise." "My God, my God why have you forsaken me?" "I am thirsty" "It is accomplished" "Into your arms i commend my spirit" - Jesus' last words.

* This entry is abit messy. Its bits and pieces of the sermons and my thoughts. comments please :)

to cheer things up!

2005-03-21T20:04:00.000+08:00

izzit me or do u guys realise there is a sense of solemness in this blog??? like y is everyone so deep n profound???? ok.. so like i'm here to cheer things up a little n i wanna say that this blog is so cool n stuff!!! i hope u don't delete this as u need some spice in ur life!! ahh.. now i'm just crapping.. just wanted to see if i'm allowed to post stuff. hahahah!!!
ok.. so like i'm in love too!!! JESUS rawks my world!!!!

Issues

2005-03-20T01:08:00.000+08:00

You know i've always wondered what we should when we've realised we like someone.. pretend you dont care when you really do and do nothing? tell him/her? wait on him/her? sigh.. kinda what i'm going through right now.. its one of the reasons i tend to avoid liking someone.. you'll probably be thinking, how weird is she? well anyway its been pretty long already and nothing's happened.. so you see, i chose to wait. stupid idea if you ask me. yet thats what chose to do.. sigh.. so lately, i've been doing some thinking and i thought.. hey, maybe i should just forget about him and move on with my life. he's not worth the wait anyway. or is he? if i forget about it, then i'll just go on living my life not knowing what he thought. frankly speaking.. i dont even know what it is about this guy that i like so much and i'm starting feel that my feelings are getting more and more serious. i think i've really fallen for him this time.. and that has never happened before. honestly, its starting to scare me a little. on the other hand, i feel our conversations are well just so.. general.. if you know what i mean. its not the type of conversations that i would enjoy having with the guy i like. i prefer real conversations.. like about things that actually matter.. not mindless conversations that just go on for ages. i seem to always ask myself, like whats the point? okay.. friendship bonding maybe.. haha.. but then again thats between friends. its like there's absolutely nothing special about relationship. just two ordinary friends who seem to be merely an acquaintance to each other. sigh.. anyone wanna tell me what to do next?
comments please ;)

Strength

2005-03-17T01:53:00.000+08:00

The feeling that we get when we feel all alone.. with no one to turn to.. loneliness is what it is. ur surrounded by friends and family, even people whom you trust very much and feel comfortable with. yet that feeling is still there. the feeling that no one understands what ur going through. the feeling that ur life is very much different from others.. much harder. ur supposed to live ur life the best way you can but it seems to me it becomes a burden day by day. on the surface, people see you as normal. but on the inside, they have no clue about what ur going through. how you really live ur life. the pain that you go through each day. going to bed every single night just thinking about what to do about it. its just a cover up. a big lie. everyone has dark secrets.. it may look like they lead perfect lives.. but we should consider our judgements next time. you see, the more you get that feeling, the more i think you should be strong. its just satan messing with you. and ive come to realise that God will always be there no matter what. He will provide you with all that you need. all you need to do is have faith.
*Philippians 4:13

p.s. Thanks annonymous. its been right in front of my eyes all along but i never noticed it till now. and you helped me ;)

Forgive? Forget?

2005-03-16T00:02:00.000+08:00

Forgive and forget most may say.. but can we really bring ourselves to do that? maybe the forgiving part is possible.. but what about forgetting? its kinda like, that thing that happens.. will never go away.. it will always be a part of ur life.. ur history.. it can never be erased.. i'm wondering why people even say these three words, 'i forgive you' when they know they can never forget about it. its just a lie. denial if i dare say. they're just words.. but the feeling will always linger.. and well.. do they just stay there? buried forever? or do they come back out when you least expect it to? see the thing is.. its really all up to ourselves whether we want it stay deep down in that pit or let it out. its a choice.

Questions

2005-03-12T00:13:00.000+08:00

Difficulties.. what are they really? is it merely a word? a phrase? described as something that becomes an obstacle? something that pulls you down? why do they exist? i think they're there for a reason.. to test our strength and our faith.. but the real question is how do you overcome it.. how strong are we really?

wanderers..
what they know is sometimes..
well more than we think..
lost but aware..
aware but lost..
only time will tell..

What the hell am i writing?! sigh.. feeling a little down.. comments please..

Another day

2005-03-05T23:37:00.000+08:00

Yet another day has passed..
another day wasted..
all hope is lost..
dreams shattered..
what are we still doing here?
unaware..
of what is yet to come..
wake up!
wake up!
reality is at our doorstep..
open our eyes..
look deep within..
and listen..

I'm really not sure what this is supposed to be.. poetry or something maybe? lol. just some of my thoughts. comments please :)

Life.. What is it really about?

2005-03-05T00:49:00.000+08:00

My first entry.. technically my second but whatever. well this hasn't been the best week i've had.. i've basically been feeling miserable the past few days.. and i've also been rambling on about it to some of my friends. if any of you are reading this, sorry for bothering you guys.. but thanks for being patient with me as well ;) sigh.. i think life is great, full of excitement and surprises. but i've just realised that the things that happen around you are not necessarily the things you want to happen and i have to accept that. its like part and parcel of life. took me kinda long to realise that huh? and i also realised that you shldn't ask questions.. why is this happening to me? why did God even allow this to happen? what good could possibly come out of this? why do i feel so lost? yet i'm doing it. sigh.. i wonder when this will end.. i'm so sick and tired of the same thing happening again and again. its when you think that everything's fine and ur life is finally starting to go right, something bad that's out of your control happens.. and thing is, i'm starting to think its something i've done that God doesnt like and i'm getting punished for it. sigh.. one of the mysteries in life that i'll never find out. oh and i've just recalled that i have a test next week.. havent done any real studying so far cos i haven't been in the best mood.. oh what a sucky blog.. its me rambling on again. argh. i would be grateful if one person even reads this :P hopefully the next time i write i'll be in a more cheerful mood. signing off now.. comments please.. if anyone is even reading this dumb blog..

Dum di dum

2005-03-03T00:36:00.000+08:00

Blogging... i'm new to this so i don't have much to say... for now. Lol. But anyway, i'll try and blog as often as i can and excuse the broken english please :P